The Lost Child
Most of realize the struggles a family goes through when they have a child with a sensory disorder especially those that live with it on a daily bases but what about the siblings that are growing up in the same family. They sometimes become the lost child. A child with a sensory disorder can become very demanding and it can take a toll on the whole family so how do you make the sibling to this sensory disorder feel that he is just as important to the family as your other child.
In our family Chad is a 17 years old with sensory dysfunction and brain damage from contracting septic when he was two. Then there is Jordan who is a very unique little boy at the age of 12. Jordon is a person that has a great understanding and wisdom of life for his age. He excels at everything he does and his passion is airplanes. His ambition is to become a pilot. He is an excellent student and all report cards say “excellence with excellence”. He is in French Emersion and has been since kindergarten. He has a deep belief in God and a few years back was contemplating on becoming a priest until his mother told him priest can’t marry so there went Jordon’s priesthood, he thought that was too much to sacrifice. He must have been the ripe old age of 8 when this decision was made.
My daughter’s house is ruled by turmoil. This is a daily routine for all of them and Jordan sometimes gets lost in it. Chad’s condition is very demanding that it takes up most of her time just dealing with the everyday problems that come along. Jordon understands what is wrong with Chad but this doesn’t make his life much easier. Chad consumes his mother’s time while Jordon sits on the sidelines. This is not done intentionally by his mother it’s just a fact of life that they all accept.
Chad loves his bike but this to causes problems for Jordon. Chad will ask Jordon to go bike riding with him and if he refuses he knows he will pay in one way or another so most times he will say yes due to the fact it is easier than what may happen when he says no. Their mother steps in as much as possible but one of Chad’s other problem is he is ADHD and obsessive compulsive and once he zeroes in on something he’s like a bulldog he just don’t let it go.
Everything in my daughter’s household is planned around Chad. His mother has to, his disabilities demand it. Chad is subject to violent episodes and the slightest thing can push him over the edge which has gotten to be a major problem over the past few years. She gives Jordan as much attention as she can and praises him for his accomplishment and he knows he is loved, yes, even by Chad.
There are days when Chad is busy at the part time job he has held for over a year and these are very special days for Jordon and his mom. She lavishes him with attention and love. She takes special days where she will take him out to lunch, just him and her, and he glows with pride and sighs with relief that they are alone for awhile.
Having a child like Chad takes a toll on all of the family but we are noticing some subtle differences in his behavior so that gives us all hope. Jordon loves his brother and I’m sure there are many days when this is very difficult to do but he hangs in there just like the trooper he is. He recently joined Air Cadets and he loves it. This little boy has so many accomplishments in his life already that we let him know on a daily basis how proud we are of him.
I sometimes wonder what Chad could have been if this had not happened to him but we’ll never know, we have to concentrate on what Chad can become in the future. Jordon will do very well academically but here to I wonder how much growing up as a lost child has a affected him but again only time will tell.
